Dear Parents,
Tomorrow starts a new way of "school" for most of us. I know I am feeling anxious and not prepared to teach. Below, please find some helpful advice from Jess Gaffga. I wanted to share it because I found this to be extremely helpful as I navigate the next week (or so).
Blessings,
Danielle
1. Learning is always happening. Parents who aren't used to schooling their children at home might feel overwhelmed not just by the increased time together or potential for cabin fever, but by the pressure to educate their children. I would say, "Relax! Learning is always happening." While there may be formal lessons to communicate and assignments to stay on top of, those are just one component of a child's education. Watching a parent juggle work and home life responsibilities with thoughtfulness and grace can be an equally useful life lesson as whatever the teacher had planned for that day. Negotiating how to structure time at home with a teenager can be a lesson in self-discipline and communication (for both of you!). A preschooler helping to set the table is strengthening motor control and planning, while practicing service. Learning is always happening. You don't have to force it or overthink it.
2. The process is at least as important as the content.While teaching long division or practicing spelling can seem crucial to your child's success at this stage in her development, the way you interact with your child is what will truly last. Skills will build. They will build across time, with practice, and thanks to the help of multiple teachers and resources in the child's life. But children have deeper needs than just skill development, which parents are uniquely qualified to meet. During this unexpected season of at-home schooling, I would encourage you to be intentional about the interactions happening between you and your child that are not content-focused. While drilling math facts, can you reflect your positive regard for your child? Can he feel your approval, regardless of performance? If you are communicating stress or anxiety to your child as he struggles to grasp or master a skill, that transmission of your unmet expectations or fearfulness over his shaky abilities will imprint and be detrimental to your child. So take a deep breath and observe yourself as you interact with your child. What feeling are you spreading? The process is at least as important as the content.
3. Connect preferred and less-preferred activities. As disruptive as this social distancing is to us adults, it is unsettling for our children as well. Young children especially thrive on routine and predictability. Whatever you put in place over the next few weeks, no matter how structured, will be different from what they are used to in school. Rather than trying to copy a school day schedule, I would suggest weaving academics into your daily routine, combining things your child likes with things she likes less. Some older school aged children might prefer blocks of time to focus on academics, followed by free time. But for younger kids, why not read aloud while they are eating lunch? Have them read to you while you cook? They don't like practicing math facts? Have them do it while jumping rope outside. A benefit of schooling outside of the classroom is the freedom to MOVE. Allow them to sit/lie down/fidget as much as they want, as long as the work is getting accomplished. Connect the subject/assignment they are avoiding to a thing that brings them joy or comfort. Which leads into the next tip...
4. Show your child (and yourself) the perks of schooling at home. Chewing gum can increase focus and sustained attention. It's not allowed in school, but permissible at home! Want to do school in your pajamas? Great! Me too. Want to do somersaults while listening to a story? Great! Just make sure you can tell me what the story was about once it's finished. Your child loves gym but only has it on Wednesdays at school? Sounds like gym just increased to five days a week! Don't forget that this is also a time to show your children what you are passionate about. It is more fun to learn from someone who is showing genuine enthusiasm because she enjoys the subject matter. Lean in to the freedom of leading each of your children individually, with an eye for their preferred learning style, areas of motivation, and struggles.
5. Finally, show grace to yourself and to your child. Set reasonable goals for yourself and your child, and reassess them regularly. What are you hoping to accomplish during this unprecedented season? Are you hoping to help your child get ahead in a particular subject? Are you aiming to bond with your kids? Maybe your goal is that your child doesn't lose skills over the next few weeks, or that you just survive being home with your children during this intense period! Both you are your children will struggle to be kind/patient/reasonable/loving during this time. The gap between Jesus' ability to love and lead and yours will become pretty clear! The good news is that there is grace available to you each and every day. Make sure you let that grace in, and make sure to offer it to your kids regularly. You don't have to do this perfectly, and neither do they.
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